Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can't Lose.

"The students in your youth ministry don't need your clever ideas and great programming skills. They need a living model -- a man or woman of God who is passionate about his or her faith." Doug Fields

If you had asked me 4 years ago when I graduated high school where I would be in 2016, I would never have said serving in a youth ministry for almost 3 years. But had I known that, I wouldn't have known how much I would fall in love with it and how much it has impacted my life, as a leader and teacher. 

Since first grade I knew I wanted to be a teacher. And by teacher I meant at school, from 8:00-3:00, with little bitty kiddos, teaching math and spelling, NOT middle and high school students from church. I also never thought I would be qualified to teach others so much and for so long about faith, Christ, and life. But that's what's funny; God uses us in ways we never saw coming. He shows up in ways we didn't expect and equips us for roles and tasks we never thought we would be a part of. And I love that. I've been at my church for 3 years, and like all churches, there's been rough patches and times where we searched for the right leadership. But through all of those times, I have found my heart falling deeper in love with Jesus and deeper in love with the students who walk into the doors and into my life. 

Student ministry (and I'm not expert), isn't easy. It's not just picking some catchy songs, choosing a book to study, and coming up with cool games and events. Yeah those are important, but there's so much more to it. I'm just a college student who found a place where service was needed and found people who needed love and encouragement. God placed me in a place I wouldn't have found on my own. When I think about what this journey has been like so far, I kept thinking of "clear eyes. full hearts. can't lose" from one of my favorite shows, Friday Night Lights. And here's why my mind kept jumping to that quote and idea...

Clear Eyes.

When I was transferring colleges and moving back to Montgomery, I was bitter and angry and did N O T want to move. I wanted to trust that God was going to bring good from it but my sinful and stubborn heart was not having it. However, after only a few weeks of being home, I found my current church and was plugged in immediately with another lady who was teaching middle school girls. I always taught the little kids and helped with children's ministry so I was hesitant and nervous about teenagers and junior high students. For a time, I forgot that I'm not the one in control and serving and influencing these students was not going to be fruitful based on my own strength. I felt completely unequipped to serve but I kept going. After about a month, I started loving it. I loved the girls, the other leaders, the environment, and the life change I was seeing. 

Here's what I'm getting at, the Bible says, "I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken" (Psalm 16:18). This verse, along with Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." tell us EXACTLY what to do as we go through our lives every day. We are to focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. We are to dig into His word daily, talk to him daily, and fill our hearts and souls up with his truth and promises. When we keep our eyes on Him, He will show us where to go. He will guide our steps and lead us to the perfect place, the perfect role, the perfect situation. His plans are good and they are far greater than anything we could come up with or write ourselves. This isn't always easy but thankfully the Lord is forgiving and shows us grace when we take some wrong turns because He always leads us back to Him and into His sovereign will.

When your eyes, heart, mind, and soul are seeking and running after the will of God, your vision will clear. Your eyes will be clear and you will see the goodness that is right in front of you. Like I said, if it were up to me, I would never have chosen youth ministry- I didn't ever think it was the right fit for me or something I would succeed at. I'm glad that I was wrong and God was not. I have had times recently with students that have been so so hard and have stretched me so thin and I almost  gave up. Why? Because I took my eyes off Jesus, even if it was just for a minute. I ran into an obstacle and I started depending on my own abilities and strength to fix and make it better. For weeks I was doing this and it was not pretty. I was believing lies from the devil that told me I was not doing a good job, I was being impatient, I was imperfect, and I was failing my students and the Lord. These lies started to take root in my heart and mind because I was looking away from Christ and looking to myself instead.  Thankfully, through advice from other leaders and friends and so much prayer, my eyes were placed back on Christ. Once again, my vision and my eyes were clear. I could see God using me as a tool to build his kingdom and to touch lives.

Full Heart.

I'm one of those people who loves people very quickly, genuinely, and deeply so I was not surprised when each student I met began to hold a special place in my heart. As time has passed, they've grown up, moved up in school, and progressed through life group and bible studies at church. I've been able to get to know so many girls throughout the last 3 years and they have made my heart so full. What started out as my trying to remember names (and rarely getting them right) on Wednesdays and Sundays, turned into relationships and discipleship that takes place every single day. I quickly realized that 2 hours twice a week was not enough time for me to properly get to know the students because discipleship and relationships require tire, sacrifice, consistency, and loyalty. I've learned it's more than just meeting and teaching when the church meets. It takes off campus discipleship, long phone calls, last minute lunch meetings, and hour long talks after church in the parking lot to truly make a difference. Sometimes you don't think you have time for it, but in my experience, it has never been an inconvenience. My schedule is not nearly as important or convenient as the souls of my students. My heart has never been more full or joyful than it is right now. I have seen how God has changed me and molded me into someone who is making a difference here on earth that will continue into eternity. 

I have a friend who also works with youth and we both agree that our faces and hearts light up when we are around our students. There's a different kind of energy and joy that we experience when we're with them, no matter how exhausted or stressed we are. I've seen how God has taken my big heart and and made it even bigger. He has filled it up with his never ending love so I could fill up others. No matter how much I give away my heart stays full and it's the best feeling in the world. 

It's hard to be a good, lasting influence in today's world because students really are so plagued by and exposed to terrible things and the darkness of the world. That can really be discouraging and terrifying to leaders but I like to see it as my chance to step up, lead, and be a light that casts out the darkness. Not every student will listen to you. Not every student will care at all what you're saying. Not every student will open up to you. Not every student will become a light. However, one student, one life change, one rebirth glorifies God and kicks Satan in the butt. Yall, the enemy is fighting so hard right now and all we can do is hold fast to God's word and speak it to everyone we know. We have to have full hearts that can't help but explode for Jesus and his kingdom. 

Can't Lose.

When I get discouraged or upset about something I see or hear about students, whether they're in my youth group or not, I have to remember that God is in control. Hard times are guaranteed but He has overcome the world. My job is to pour into, love on, and guide others to Christ. On many occasions I've recieved, "hey can I ask you for advice?" or "can we get breakfast? I need your help with some things i'm dealing with" texts. These texts constantly encourage me and remind me that YES I am here, RIGHT here, RIGHT where I am for a reason. Student pastors, interns, and leaders can be the most important people in so many students' lives. I just think about all the stories in the Bible and the people God used for his Kingdom and for His purpose and I think, "wow. That's me. We are those people in today's world. We are called by the King of Kings to change the world." Holy moly. What an honor and what a blessing. We are the Noah's, Moses's, David's, Paul's, and Peter's of the 21st century and we are raising up the leaders of the next generation. Mayne that's intimidating to you but for me it's stinkin amazing. 4 years ago, 3 years ago, even one year ago, I would not have known how much I am impacting 13 and 14 year olds. That's the same for every youth pastor, bible study leader, and intern. We have no idea how much God will use us or where He will use it. Keep your eyes on HIm and he will make your path clear. Fill your heart with truth and joy from Him and that will allow you to fill up others.  I can't imagine not doing this; not working with youth, not discipling and growing with students, for the rest of my life. I pray that the rest of my life involves ministering to and inviting students into my home and into my heart. I pray that God continues to place students in my life that need the love of God and someone to speak and show it to them. Like in 3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than seeing and witnessing children (and one day my own) walking in the truth. What a joyful and breathtaking sight that is. 

No matter how hard Sunday morning or wednesday night or random thursday morning breakfast is, God can't lose. And if we on God's team, we can't lose either. The devil will (and has) try to knock you down. He will try to make you feel inadequate. He will try to make you give up. But he will not win. If you keep your eyes clear and focused, your heart full of love and truth, then you can't lose.