"Love keeps no record of wrong."
1 Corinthians 13:5
Forgiveness is a big deal. I had the opportunity to teach my 7th grade girls the importance of this topic in Sunday school and it was one of the most powerful and crucial lessons I can ever teach. Why is that? Well, I'll tell you.
Forgiveness is something that we choose to give or choose to keep to ourselves. FOR we choose to GIVE it. It is a gift that we give to others who hurt us. I know this sounds simple, but it is one of the hardest things for all people to do. When we are hurt by friends, family, bosses, employees, etc. we go through pain, anger, and confusion. Relationships are built with the people in our lives over the course of time and with that, trust is built. It is MUCH harder to build trust than it is to break it. Here's an analogy.
Think of blocks. Little kids love building super cool, high towers out of colorful blocks and LEGOS. They spend hours upon hours creating their masterpieces. The finished product takes time, dedication, and hard work. But, when the tall tower is built, it is a beautiful creation. However, there are times when the super awesome tower gets knocked down. It takes hours of planning and carefulness to build, but only one tiny bump, pull, or push to knock the whole thing down. It is now in pieces on the floor, totally destroyed. How heart breaking is that for a little kid? I can tell you that it devastates children!! All of their hard work and dedication was beautiful for a moment, but then it was crushed and broken. They have the choice to give up and leave it in pieces on the floor, or they can choose to take a deep breath and start over. Rebuild the masterpiece. Make it beautiful again.
Trust is the same way. As relationships and friendships are carefully and slowly built over time, trust is also built. Trust is what allows us to tell another person secrets, share our hopes and dreams, go to for comfort or excitement. Trust binds our friendships together. When trust is lost, the friendship eventually falls apart. HI think everyone has experienced this at one point in life. I have numerous times and every time it has been difficult, painful, and heart breaking. BUT, there is hope. There is a way to piece back together the brokenness. And it is called forgiveness.
This is such a real thing, y'all. Forgiveness heals and renews relationship more than anything else can. The reason we think forgiveness is so hard and why we struggle to either give other people forgiveness or ask for it is because we are prideful. Our pride tells us, "No, They do not deserve my forgiveness. They hurt me and there is no way they can repay me for that." Or we say, "I am not in the wrong. I will not ask for forgiveness. They are the ones who should be begging for mine." You may not be in the wrong, but that doesn't matter. Forgive them even if they are not sorry. Show them kindness. Show them love. Show them that second chances are possible and that forgiveness is a powerful thing. Overcome the pride that Satan is using to destroy you and others by showing kindness to the ones who hurt you the most.
I'm saying this from experience. More like multiple experiences. I have had parents who have hurt me, siblings, friends, boyfriends, and even strangers. I've had boyfriends who broke my heart. I had a friend of several years who I was very close to who also hurt me. There are times where I can shake stuff off and move on, but this was different. It seemed like these people grabbed onto my heart only with the intention to destroy it. I know that sounds dramatic but just go with it.
They hurt me more than I thought was possible. I felt so much anger towards them and that anger didn't go away with time. I thought it would but it did not. The anger was less often and not as intense, but it was still very much there. I thought advice from others would help but it didn't fix the problem. I though pretending they didn't exist would help, but that didn't either. I prayed so hard and so often that God would make my anger go away. . I thought he wasn't listening but He was (as always). He was telling me that I did not need to wait for THEIR forgiveness but that I needed to give it to them. Out of these 3 people, only one guy asked for my forgiveness, genuinely, humbly, and immediately. The other two never even said sorry. That made me mad, but then God reminded me again that it was my turn to humble myself and give them forgiveness even if they weren't sorry. And you know what? That was the cure. That was the thing that healed my heart and took my anger away. Now, it was not immediate, but every day my heart changed and the bitterness went away. These people who used to make me cry when I saw them or get super angry when they were around, are now people who I can look at and see a son or daughter of God. They are no longer the guys who broke my heart or the girl who betrayed me and ruined our friendship. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ and because of forgiveness, I can see them as that.
I'm not telling you this because I'm a master at forgiving the people who have hurt me. God has shown me how to forgive and He will continue to do so until I breathe my last breath and meet Him. We cannot control what others do to us, but we can control our reaction. We can choose to forgive them or get revenge on them. We can choose to get pay pack or we can offer them grace and kindness. Your reaction will minister to them, so make sure you are responding the way Jesus did. You may want payback, but remember that you are also a sinner. You will also hurt someone. When that happens, you will want to be forgiven, not ignored and hated. Not everyone will forgive you or ask for forgiveness but you can. Your heart is changed through the process and it will forever change your view of others. Jesus forgave us for every single sin we will commit in the past, present, and future. Every sinful thing we do (which is SO MANY A DAY), we are forgiven. No man can hurt us like we have hurt King Jesus. No man can sin against us as much or as often as we sin against King Jesus. So, when you have been hurt, forgive others. Forget pay back and remember that you have been paid for by Jesus' blood.
To end with, so y'all understand where I"m coming from, my heart is big, like it's huge. It's a great thing and i love it, but is also means that I am more likely to trust others and get hurt. I feel everything, from every person very deeply. I have learned that because God has made me this way, I have to learn how to deal with the many occasions and people who hurt me. Thankfully, God has shown me the power of forgiveness through his Son, Jesus. He can show you too, you just need to ask him. Forgiveness is hard ,but not impossible.
Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you."
