Blessings In Disguise

"What if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?"

-Laura Story 

For those of you who don't know me as well as others, here's something about me: I'm not your typical college girl. Yes, I look just like college girls in the 21st century in the South, but that's about it. Growing up, i had this idea of what every college girl was like. An idea of what I was going to be like when I finally made it to college. I had decided (in 6th grade) that I was going to go to Auburn University. I mean duh, I pretty much grew up there and dad wouldn't let me go anywhere else. No way. The home of the Auburn Tigers was where I would go. Once I got accepted, I just knew that I would get some scholarship money, major in Elementary Education, live in a dorm with the coolest most bestest roommate ever and become best friends, live the college life of meeting tons and tons of friends, going to fun parties, find an awesome church, and  meet a great guy who loved Disney, Auburn, and Jesus, date him for 4 years, and then get married after we both graduated. That was my plan, alright. Did it happen? HA, nope.

Here I am, half way through with college, now a junior, and my life is SO completely different than the idea I had in my mind growing up. First of all, no one tells you this but college is stinkin HARD. There's nothing easy about it-- the classes, the sleep, the homework, finding a job or church, finding good friends, meeting good guys, and more. Everything about it is hard. At least for me it was. It's a fun and exciting season of life, without a doubt, but it is also very challenging and you are bombarded with numerous demands, distractions, and requests from every direction. It can be overwhelming. Anyway, that was a rabbit trail i had no intention of chasing. Back to my point..

I am currently living at home (after one semester at Auburn, just ONE, I moved home) and am a junior at AUM. Yeah, even just that was something I had FORBIDDEN myself from ever doing. Moving home or going to any school but Auburn. Funny how that happens, right? I also haven't met my perfect Disney, Auburn, Jesus loving Prince Charming yet, either. I'm not meeting best college friends, left and right, like I had imagined. School still kicks my butt and steals my sleep and social life but it's okay. Who needs those anyways?? Just kidding i need them just like everyone else does. I spend my time at work, school, babysitting, and a church. Am I the lamest college student ever? Quite possibly. But that's 100% okay with me. I am content in this moment of life that is going by so so quickly. 

So what does "A Blessing In Disguise" have to do with my boring biography about my college life so far? Don't worry, I'll tell you. 

Everything that has gone "wrong" in my two years as a college student, turned out to be blessings. In the moment, I thought my life was falling apart, but it was really falling into place. God was putting my life together and I was too stubborn, prideful, and dramatic to see it. The One who knows my heart better than I do, is piecing my life together day by day, circumstance by circumstance, trial by trial. God is the One who created my heart, so He knows what is best for me, even more than I do. He knows what I was made for, where I excel, and where I serve and shine most. Since God knows me, He knew Auburn wasn't the place for me. And hey, I trust that. I won't argue with Him anymore about that. My parents made me come home from Auburn after my Fall 2013 semester because my grades weren't high enough, I hadn't found a job, and I was too distracted. They knew that if I continued at this rate, I would end up a homeless little 18 year old girl, with no money to my name and no education, making me dumber than a brick. Okay, maybe not that harsh, but you get the point, haha. I wasn't meeting my own expectations in college. I was going downhill and going FAST. When my parents packed up my things from my apartment in Auburn and filled my room at home with brown boxes higher than the Tower of Babel, I was FURIOUS. Oh my gracious I was so mad. I hated that they were taking away my school, my life, my freedom, my future. So i thought...

Turns out, this was exactly what God had in store for me. He knew when he created me that I was meant to be here, in Montgomery, at home. After being here for a year, I was given the opportunity and choice to move back to Auburn in January 2015 and finish school there. At first, I was set on going back. I had a second chance, HOORAY!! (I"m big on second chances by the way, but that's a different story, for a different day). I spent Christmas break preparing to go back, packing my boxes to move in with my 2 friends, registering for classes, etc. I was going back. Back to my dream life in Auburn. BUT God still knew that's not where I needed to be. I had this little feeling that I should stay. I just needed conformation from at least one friend. Easy, right? HECK no. Every friend told me they wanted me to go back. Yes, they would miss me here, but they knew Auburn was what I wanted, so I should go. UGH!! Not helping, guys. My heart knew what to do. I knew what I wanted. But I was doubting myself. I needed GOOD reason to stay. I prayed and prayed for clarity. Finally, God gave it to me. At first it was one or two little things that made me want to stay. I thought, "okay. The good things about Auburn are 1. it's away from home. 2. FOOTBALL. 3. I get to grow up and be an adult (YIKES). 4. I get to live with friends. 5. I have a higher chance of meeting my future husband (according to my own stats and reasoning)." But that was all. I had no other reasons. Those were all things I could do here also. I felt empty thinking about moving back. 

So, my decision was made. I was staying. My friends in Auburn understood and supported my decision. My friends here did too. God bless my friends. They are such treasures. So, I made the decision to stay in the Gump and finish school here. No looking back. Praying for no regrets. And you know what? My prayers were answered. I am SO happy here and do not regret that decision at all. God was faithful for me and kept pushing me in the right direction, no matter how hard I tried to steer the opposite way. Through my 2 years back at home, God keeps showing my confirmation and blessings for being here. These things (That i'm about to share) remind me that God is gracious. He is patient. He is in control. He is faithful. He knows me and has placed me, for now, in the place where I am joyful, content, and growing. I love it and I love Him. He is almighty and knows my heart more than any man, friend, or person ever can. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!

Here are my confirmations and blessings God has given me along the way:

• My Church: I am so thankful God kept me here because I love my church more than I can express. The people, the teaching, the service opportunities, the body of Christ, and the level of worship I experience while there. I struggled to find a church in auburn that i liked. I moved around each and was so frustrated because nowhere seemed to be the right fit for me. Now, I am at a church where I learn so much about God every week. I have been given numerous opportunities to serve in the Children's Ministry, the church office, and currently in the Student Ministry. Guys, I love it. I get to teach sweet, precious 7th grade girls EVERY WEEK about King Jesus. I love them with all my heart and am so thankful I get to be their teacher. I am blessed by them and by my church. It is perfect for me.

  

  My sweet sunday school class. I Love them all!! 

  
  

  

  Our weekly Ultimate Frisbee Group on Saturday Mornings at Church! 

   
• My Job: I work in a toy store. Yep. A toy store. It's amazing. Even on slow days when 30 seconds seems like 4 hours, I love it. I never want to leave. I am a kid at heart. I love crayons and yoyo's and coloring books. I would be miserable doing anything else. God blessed me my first week back in Montgomery (a year and half ago) with the perfect job for me, for right now. Not only do I love the store, the toys, the atmosphere, and the customers, but I love the people there. I don't just have co-workers, I have friends. By friends I mean people who I hang out with outside of work, people who have become my closest friends, people who I make Frozen videos with ha!! How often does a college kid get a fun job they love AND people they love to work with too? Not often. In addition to my work friends, my boss and his family are blessings. Maybe that's weird?? but it's true. I have the most patient, understanding, and kind (with the occasional sass and picking-on-me-ness) boss ever. He has to be though cause with 5 girls working, he kinda wouldn't survive if he wasn't. My boss' sons are also two of my favorite people in the world. Seriously. And they're 12 and 9 years old. When i say I have never met such kind, loving, and fun boys in my life, I mean it. Their love for life, their laughter and tender hearts, and their eagerness to talk about the things that excite them, bring me so much joy. They come and tell me about their baseball games, their new LEGO sets, and everything in between. I have loved getting to know them over the past year and half and because of them, I hope that I have boys just like them one day. They are priceless and have my heart. God blessed me far more than I deserve with my job. He put me in retail, but with it, he gave me friends and people who will have a special place in my heart. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!! 

  

  Our Job Is The Best!! 

  
  

  

  First Day At The New Store! 

  
  

  

  Sweet Josh. Always Makes Me Laugh! 

• My friends: Where would I be without them? God knew my life wasn't going to be easy so he gave me the people who I needed to make it through each day. Friends who remind of Jesus, who make me more like him, who lift me up. Sarah, Gary, Kimbrel, Sydney, Alea, Rachel, Martha, Christi, Natalie, Bekah, and my whole sunday sschool class + college Small group. These peeps are THE. BOMB. I could write 132186451 pages about them all. But I won't. Each one of these friends display some characteristic of Jesus to me. Some show me his courage, his kindness, patience, gentleness, love, and mercy. They all will tell me when I"m wrong, but don't stop there. They help me figure out what to do next and how to make decisions that are honoring to the Lord and are best for me. Sydney, Gary, Sarah, Kimbrel, Alea, and Natalie are the main reason I decided to stay here. They'll get mad at me when they read this and find out I stayed for them, but I don't care. Home is where the heart is, right? And mine is here, with them. When Gary and Sarah told me they were having another baby, I knew I wasn't moving away, I wasn't going to miss out on her life. Nothing in my heart wanted to miss that. Same with Kimbrel, my best 2 year old friend. My pal. My favorite little girl. She has this HUGE piece of my heart that I'm never getting back. If I had moved away, I would have missed her singing the ABC's and Frozen Songs. I would have missed laying on the trampline with her, looking at the clouds and talking about Disney World. I would have missed hearing her say "Look!! It's Karel!!" I would have missed all her sweet hugs and her joyous laugh. I would have missed going to gymnastics with her. I would have missed so much of her life. The little things that are big things to me. Her parents are my best friends and they are family.Staying here has been a blessing because I have been able to visit Sydney's classroom, watch dumb TV shows with her once a week, and go on shopping sprees at Target and Nancy's. These are little things but when they are done with the right people, they become big things. I would be lost without their encouragement. love, and devotion to me. They all bring laughter, excitement, and joy to this life of mine. They are my sunshine :) 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  

• The Montgomery Bus: This is weird but true. I ended up not having a car when I moved back to Montgomery, so to get to the job I love, I had to ride the Montgomery city bus, from AUM to Vaughn Road. I was dropped off outside a gas station at the bus stop, then had to time the traffic flow juuuuuust right in order to RUN ACROSS without getting run over. This was a challenge every day. I was embarrassed, to be honest. But I eventually (with the help of optimistic friends) was able to see this as a blessing as well. Being forced toe ride the sketchy, stinky bus gave me a new sense of adventure. How many college kids will get to tell their kids about the time they had to ride "that bus right there" to work every day AND run across one of the busiest streets while carrying  a purse and backpack that weighed more than I did?? This was a blessing that allowed me to not take myself so seriously, and find humor and adventure in something I did not plan on experiencing. Whenever I see that bus I wave a say, "Hey! There's my bus." I wouldn't want to go through that again, but it was a fun experience to have.

  

  God Bless My Dear Bus 

• Babysitting: I would be so sad to be away from my sweet families I have babysat for years. I had families i babysat for in Auburn, but those experiences always made me miss my families back home. I started babysitting the Stanley's when I was 12!! It's been 8 years!! They're more like my brothers and sisters than kids I babysit. My heart is so invested and made for people and children, so departing from them would be heart breaking. Since I am here, I have grown even closer to the Stanley's (and other families), have been at their baseball games, birthday parties, school events, recitals, and more. There has been so much of their lives that I would have missed out on, had I left. And I know that God kept me here for a reason, and this is just one. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

SO, all this to say--when your plan for life doesn't go as planned, take a minute to try and see God's role in it. He is taking something away to replace with something better. He knows you and your heart and your abilities more than anyone, so trust Him even in the confusion, the unknown, and the change. He will lead you where you will are meant to be, just let go and let Him guide you. 

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

Proverbs 16:9